So, my bank sent me some real-world spam today. The seem to like to do that, trying to sell me all sorts of subscriptions to services I’m not interested in. Anyway. This letter was particularly cheeky, here’s how it began:
Dear Ward Vandewege,
As a great way to demonstrate the importance of your relationship, *name of my bank* has chose Elite Excursions to offer you the opportunity to participate in an important Consumer Opinion Poll. That way, you can share your experiences with leisure activities (good and bad) and have access to a discount network of leading hotels, cruise lines, vacation packages, and more.
At this point I was a bit confused. I have been offered the opportunity to fill out a survey? A Consumer Opinion Poll no less, note the capitalization? I should probably feel quite honored. I’m sure they don’t offer that oportunity to all their customers. My relationship with the bank must be quite something!
But I was still a bit confused as to how exactly filling out the survey would give me access to this discount network of vacation goodies. So a bit further down in the letter, this followed:
As a valued customer, you can also receive one month of no-cost access to Elite Excursions, compliments of *name of my bank*. This discount travel network can help save you money and worry, wherever you go.
Ah. This is just another sales ploy. Sure enough, the letter continues with an amazing offer for a free Portable DVD Player (again, note the capitalization – this thing must be quite something!) if I try the program, and then some fine print that states that after the first month, Elite Excursions seems to cost $19.99/month.
Yeah, right.
I wish they would stop sending me this sort of stuff. Each time they do, I think of them less as a bank and more as a bunch of sales droids. Bad branding, dear bank, I want you to act like a bank. You know, be all stylish and professional and polite, and radiate an air of trustworthiness. This junk mail gives me an impression of you that is quite the opposite of that.
Maybe it’s time to look for another bank.